Developmental Stew

We have finally made it to the home stretch, which means that this blog is coming to a close.  While discussing many separate topics that relate to real world issues and experiences, I have come to realize that a lot of these topics share many similarities to each other.  Developmental psychology topics all blend together at different areas while defining how we as humans progress through our lives. By mixing these topics together, we can obtain a better grasp on how we grow.  Below are three examples of what I mean.

Predicting Divorce/Positive Aging

One of the biggest life events that occurs for most people is marriage.  People grow up in search of their soul mate, and are always curious of when their time will come. Sadly, the current divorce rate is at approximately 50%, and divorce can affect people of all ages, including middle age and elderly couples.  This interesting connection between divorce and positive aging is not one that people would expect.  When I think of elderly couples, such as my grandparents, I could never imagine two people issuing a divorce after being married for over a third of their lives.  However, according to Census Bureau’s American Community Survey, 17.5% of Americans over the age of 50 reported being divorced or separated from their spouse, and this number has stayed pretty consistent.

Why are older people becoming more likely to file for divorce?  According to Dr. John Gottman, the heaviest predictor of divorce is the man's overall dissatisfaction.  Oppositely, it is more likely that a woman will initiate the conversation of filing for divorce.  This may be because women feel more empowered to fulfill their own needs, and are no longer dependent on men to support them.  Because of this, women tend to expect more from men, and put their own needs on the back burner in order to save their marriage; however, this lack of communication about her feelings is what ultimately leads to her unhappiness.  Now that women do not need a man on their hip to determine their worth, women are more likely to go out and seek happiness in other things (or people) rather than staying in an unhealthy relationship.  There are so many other options for people who are unsatisfied with their marriage does not live up to their expectations.  Additionally, thanks to better health care and medicine, spouses at age 55 are aware that they have 25+ more years to live.  At this age, the children are typically out of the house, and staying in an unsatisfying relationship for another quarter of their life does not seem pleasant. Gottman provided a few tips to maintain a healthy marriage:

• Build love maps
• Share fondness and admiration
• Turn towards
• Positive perspectives
• Managing conflict
• Make life dreams come true
• Create shared meaning
• Trust
• Commitment

His therapeutic developments have been designed to aid couples in increasing respect, affection, and closeness, breaking through and resolving conflict when they feel stuck, generating greater understanding between partners, and keeping conflict discussions calm.  Utilizing these techniques may help that elderly couple rekindle the spark they had during their newlywed stages; it's all about passion, devotion, and love after all.


Identity/Sexuality

Identity is a very important aspect when a person is trying to figure out who they are and what direction they want to take in their life.  The development of identity is a long process that is not solely based on biology and genetics, which is a hard concept for some people to grasp.  For example, some people view racial identity as sharing a group with people with the same skin color, when in reality it is so much more.  Race is modernly discussed as a social construct, and people determine their racial identity based on which racial group they perceive to have a shared heritage with.  Similarly, ethnic identity is not based on what we look like on the outside, but instead our beliefs participation in a culture that best fits us that we share with other people.  Another important identity people must determine is sexual identity.  While many closed-minded people believe that sexuality is black and white and can be categorized, sexual orientation is fluid and allows people to move around the spectrum in order to decipher their preferences in a partner.

Identity affects every person's life, yet people are discriminated against on the basis of identity regularly.  While America is perceived to be way ahead when it comes to human rights, it is certain that we still have a lot of work to do.  People who identify with minority races and ethnicities struggle to find work, and are forced to "white wash" their resumes just to obtain interviews for jobs.  People have changed things such as their academic background, previous work experience, and even their name to sound Caucasian because society has a prejudice against minorities, deeming them unable to produce the quality of work a white person is able to.  Obviously, this is untrue, but our society is completely biased toward the white man.  Similarly, non-straight people experience prejudice because they are not conforming to social norms of society; a man and women are able to produce offspring and keep the human race alive, but homosexuals are preventing the reproductive purpose of our existence.  While America does have its flaws, homosexuals are treated very poorly in third-world countries.  For example, homosexuals in Nigeria and other African countries receive very harsh punishments, including the death penalty, for being gay.  These nations are unaware that homosexuality is not a choice, and believe that homosexuality is a completely social choice.  Ultimately, identity is something that influences everybody, and it is sad to see such a separation between the different identity preferences.  As humans, we should all embrace and support each other in our life choices.  Acceptance is the ultimate goal, and without diffusion of different lifestyles, prejudice and discrimination will continue to be prevalent in our society.


Emotions/Bullying

Bullying is a global problem that can lead to extreme consequences depending on the severity of the situation.  People are bullied for a multitude of reasons, including identity, physical attributes, social quirks, or really anything a person can find to make fun of.  Bullying causes victims to have an overload of negative emotions, which may lead to different mental disorders.  Emotions play a huge role, and sometimes it is very hard to detect a person's true emotions.  The happiest people tend to be hiding their true feelings and putting on a front, however, according to Paul Ekman, people display "microexpressions" that display a person's true emotion for about 1/25 of a second.  These microexpressions bring the basic emotions of happiness, sadness, anger, fear, contempt, disgust, and surprise to light.  Each emotion has specific facial features that go along with each expression, making them easier to interpret and justify.  By educating young children about emotional intelligence, the effects of bullying may potentially decrease significantly.

Technological advances has made bullying easier and emotion interpretation much harder.  Online bullying has a lot in common with bullying in school: Both behaviors include harassment, humiliation, teasing and aggression. Cyberbullying presents unique challenges in the sense that the perpetrator can attempt to be anonymous, and attacks can happen at any time of day or night.  In this sense, the bully is able to hide their identity and save their social image while still getting their point across to the victim. Technology is also slowly destroying interpersonal connections in the real world. People are less likely to communicate with someone face-to-face, and turn to technology because it is simple and faster. Humans are becoming so heavily reliant on technology that we panic when we are without it. We sometimes even begin to isolate ourselves from the real world, and begin to replace our personal relationships with cyber friends. These addictive behaviors destroy our emotional functions.

Closing

It has been a pleasure to write an academic blog on developmental psychology and also social justice is some cases.  I have learned a lot about international issues, dilemmas here at home, and even personal experiences that have been eye-opening.  I have enjoyed hearing the perspectives of others in comparison with my own take on a topic.  Hopefully I can continue to socially blog on controversial topics and apply the strategies I have acquired through this experience.

Until next time!

Lauren O'Brien